Poetry

Legs barely covered

or not.

Loose fitting

or tight.

Comfortable in the weather of summer.

All I have left are pajama shorts.

Yes!

I don’t have to leave home today!

 

You smile even though the anger boils inside.

Your eyes narrow in concentration.

People believe you are thinking hard

when in fact you are confused.

You stride purposely through the crowd.

In reality you are running away.

Life overwhelms you and all people see is someone who has it all together.

Nobody understands how truly desperate you are!

To say good-bye hurts so very much.

I loved you for as long as I have known you.

I would not say it was a very long time

but my love was strong and deep.

It caresses my soul even today.

I do not know if I will ever stop loving you.

So I will let you go

knowing you will find your way

and I will love you no matter what you do!

Listening to your body as you sleep.

Enjoying the touch of your skin.

Hearing the rhythm of your breathing

as you snore peacefully beside me.

I miss you.

My body remembers.

It knows you would treat it well.

Touching, stroking, kissing.

The tremors roll through me

every time I think of you

and what we shared.

My body remembers.

It remembers and still craves you.

I ache.

My sleep was interrupted.

My thoughts are jumbled and fragmented.

I will get through the day.

Sheer willpower is good

but eventually I will crash.

I will fall

and only I can catch me.

 

The panic rises.

Worry conflicts with logic.

I have to do this.

I can’t do this!

but I have to!

I CAN’T do this!

The internal struggle shuts down my body.

Thoughts become so intense I can not move.

Do not touch me I will scream.

I am lost inside

where no one can find me.

 

The motivation is there.

I really want to do this.

My routine is holding me back.

How can I become a better person

when all I want to do is avoid this problem?

My life is forever filled with fear.

Failure and pain have hurt me

more than I would like to admit.

There are still moments of happiness and peace

but too many days are filled with anxiety and resistance.

When my job is my life I can not enjoy my life.

Time to write!

What should I write about?

Thoughts go blank.

Oh dear, this is not good.

Nonsense poem time?

Silly unconnected rhymes?

Not this time.

My coffee awaits

but does not help me in my dilemma.

Sigh!

There was a connection.

We loved and talked and made plans.

He could not handle my true self.

He could not love me as he thought I deserved.

So alone once again

I am looking to allow myself to heal.

I hope he finds the solace he needs.

He is a good man.