Poetry

I am losing a friend.

I have lost a lover.

I need a new job.

My kids are exhausting.

The house is not clean enough.

I am barely getting by.

Everything is so overwhelming.

Yet I am scared because I don’t want to lose my friend.

Life’s not fair.

It never is.

Hard work is the only way.

Yet luck is such a lucky thing.

I have the rug pulled out from under me

so many, many times.

When will I get a break?

and I am not talking about the about a limb.

Where do I go from here?

What am I going to do?

Am I just going to live like this

never growing, never learning?

What will be the plan going forward?

Someday this will be but a memory

and I will be older, wiser and perhaps happier.

My house is not cat ready.

I do not have the cat food placed in locking bins

so I do not get unexpected piles of it

in the middle of my kitchen

late at night.

I do not have a designated place for the litter box.

I am not sure where to place their food bowls.

I have yarn that I should probably tuck away.

I am not used to keeping my bedroom door closed all the time.

Yet, I am happy to have these two friendly fluffs in my house.

Their purrs and antics so warm and laughing.

I may not be ready but I am definitely cat friendly!

New rules to enforce.

This never goes well.

Babysitting cats for the neighbour.

Close all bedroom doors.

Who does the litter box?

Cat toys made to play with.

Oh how I love having cats in the house again!

Help me?

Yes I need help but not right now.

Love me?

I would like that but I first must love myself.

Hire me?

A new job would be good after I get educated.

Teach me?

Why I am learning all the time dear.

Hug me?

I would love a hug!

 

When I was crazy in love

I couldn’t wait for him to call.

I was eager for his emails.

When I was crazy in love

I wanted to spend every minute with him.

When I was crazy in love

touching, holding hands oh and the kissing….

I am no longer crazy in love.

Lazy in love

but even that seems wrong.

He’s my friend I enjoy talking to

but nothing more.

I miss being crazy in love.

So much more felt possible.

But then again all romances die

if one side does not love like the other.

He was never crazy in love with me.

But he was always honest

which is why I still find him someone to care about.

The feeling of laziness.

The acceptance of not having

anyone but yourself to answer to!

The desire to just sit and drink coffee outside.

The delight in watching your neighbours.

Saying hello and small talk.

The peace of being alone.

By yourself

and being happy in this moment!

 

How do you know someone is not in your house

when you are not home?

How can I verify my safety when I sleep?

Why must I not be able to trust my neighbours?

If they had asked for the food

I would gladly have given it!

Why?

Why that spot?

So inconvenient!

Underneath the sock.

I have to take off my shoe!

Can I do this without drawing attention?

In this moment no other spot could be so irritating!

Oh no….

The small of my back is itchy!