Poetry

You laugh.

You love.

You learn.

The life you are given

is simple to look at.

What lessons do you wish to be a part of?

The unshakeable truths of my youth

have been quivering amongst the cracks.

I see the spots of transparency

that details the holes in my youthful logic.

Can I condemn someone for choosing options

that I would not choose for myself?

The sex industry will never go away.

Standardize it and maybe people will see

the actual humans that are in it.

Unborn fetuses.

Whose life is worth more?

The mother or the child who people refuse to care for?

Moral ambiguities’ that I thought were solid

have crumbled under the weight of time’s experience.

Now, I find myself shuddering with horror at the same stories

but for entirely different reasons.

It had been years in the making.

Situations every day.

If not one

then another took their place.

School is supposed to be safe.

How can I convince my child

that they may always be a target

and the only way

is to be stronger in will than the bullies?

It breaks my heart knowing

that the fear of victimization

is stronger than anything else in my child.

Things look different.

It used to be cold.

There was a depression in the air.

I still feel it hanging around.

Yet, life does not stop.

Appointments, errands need to be dealt with.

Food is a requirement.

How do I juggle all of the problems?

Yet, things get done.

Somehow.

Yet conscientiously I know they will.

So I await for the phone to ring.

Scrolling through the videos

I find a funny cat one.

Then not to my surprise

my phone rings just as it starts to get good.

I prefer watching the movie

with the original language.

Only problem is when

the translation is off

and when you see

the Hello introduction

and the person’s name

comes out like a mayonnaise advertisement.

Go to bed at a set time.

Put away all electronics.

Change the sheets regularly.

Don’t wear pajamas all day.

Have a cute sleep companion.

I wish I could adhere to all of these

but at least I have the cat to keep me company.

Outrage is understandable

when expectations are undermined.

Such as you find out

that someone was using you

after promising something else.

I wonder if politics these days

is merely pushing how far

they can get away with stuff

before the outrage happens.

Still, consequences seem to be mild if not nil.

I have begun to realize

my panic attacks happen

when I do not have time

between my appointments

that I feel is comfortable.

Like a full day.

Less than that

I need to be able

to get from one to the other in ample time.

Like an hour or two.

So virtual appointments sometimes work.

Unless they are scheduled

one after the other.

Then I really hope someone else cooks supper.

It may have been done before

but not by me,

so watch as I pour the chocolate

over the peanut butter

and eat a new sandwich!