Poetry

When the phone drops from your hand

And falls beside you.

Mental capacity hardly works

As my annoying friend keeps bothering me.

No driving for me.

Hopefully rest when home is achieved.

I look in the mirror

and utter such nonsense to myself

seeking to play down my embarrassment.

Meanwhile the words

continue to loop

and I begin to believe they are truth.

Fearing the worst

I conjecture how stupid I am

and all the horrible things I did.

Not just today

but all days

and even ones I have not gone through yet.

I can not keep telling myself

that I am ugly

or stupid

or fat

or a waste of space

or not worthy to exist.

These thoughts must stop

or I will continue down this road further

and further

until

one day

I will only regret

everything

I ever did.

Reading the eyes

or the lips

when they are trying to withhold information

can be confusing

and invalid.

People tell their version of the truth

and that is all they see

so sometimes

it is not worth the time

or effort to lift their mask

and see who is truly underneath.

Unless the mirror stands before you.

I want to pay my rent

but I don’t need to.

I want to eat healthy

but I don’t need to.

I want to have nice clothes

but the old ones falling apart will do.

I want to send my kids to school

but I could try to let them be truants for awhile.

I want to be a good parent

but I don’t need to be,

apparently anyone can be a parent.

It is merely whether you have the money

to afford them before

society deems you incapable

and takes them away.

Either through force

or disease

or poverty.

 

When sleep comes but does not stay

So she is awake

and loud

and wandering the house

Which means I need to corral her

and herd her back to her bed

in the desperate hopes

that she might

actually

fall back asleep

I read the views I don’t like.

I read the views I do like.

Neither make me happy.

Yet I can not get away from the truth

Politicians run this country

and I live here.

If I want a change I must advocate for it.

Yet I know I am hampered

and so I do the best I can

and live my life according to my values.

There is a disease that is spreading

It never goes away

It always comes back

In one form or another

Most are easy to spot

Others are subtle

Hate is the problem

and Love is only one cure

but there never seems to be enough

Empathy and an open mind

They are the best treatments around

and too many people push them away

Measures are taken

and redrawn

Things are happening quick

and then that one

single

little detail

that you hoped

would not go wrong

does

and then it is

merely catch up

trying not to fall

Time to level up.

Another year has gone by.

Lists made.

Lists ignored

or finished.

Either way

Wisdom is growing

by acknowledging

that I made mistakes.

 

The house has not burnt down

I am thankful she is unhurt

My child likes to play dangerously

I can not say I blame her

Experimenting and knowing it is wrong

Only made me want to actually see if it was true

when I was her age

The house has not burnt down