Poetry

My choices

not theirs

not the ones I was scared into making

when I did not know better

My capabilities

not theirs

the ones that I have developed

and know how to implement

My confidence

not theirs

not limited to merely surviving the times

but allowing myself to grow

I am not them

not anymore

the three C’s will guide me past the obstacles

they created for me when I was younger

because I now know

who and what I am

Tense

Filled with Anxious Thoughts

Not able to fully relax

Always unsure

Never wanting to commit

just in case

And then disappointment when it doesn’t happen

in time

Or relief when it does

because then you can worry about less important things

 

Too much

Too fast

Too many people

Too much excitement

Too bad

Now that it has calmed down

She is purring on my legs

And they are slowly going numb

But she’s feeling better

And the feeling in my legs

Will eventually return

Tired

Can’t sleep

Eyes hurt

Body lethargic

Yet thoughts keep on being played

Scenarios coming

Twisting and jumping tangents

Worries start

Then fail

Sleep is not welcome

By this overly complex game

My gelatinous organ is playing

Temptations are everywhere.

When should you resist

And when should you give in.

Depends on the state of your minds health

Since if you are scattered or shattered

Resisting is harder.

So enjoy the good things when you can

And live life to the fullest my friends.

So is intellect

and wisdom.

Gluttony is a sin

only when you eat more

when you do not have to.

It used to be a rich man’s sin

because he was the only one who could afford

more food than he needed.

Now we understand the psychology behind it

and so patience is still a virtue

but what about the others?

Is envy still a sin?

‘Can you name them all?

All that can truly be said

is that it is only a virtue

at the right time and the right place

like waiting in a line.

When a bill is late

it is called procrastination

and so therein lies the truth.

It is our actions that are virtuous

or sinful

and only we will know the truth

of why we do them.

Simple, white and her favorite.

I had left it upstairs where I last played with her.

This morning I find it beside my computer chair.

I think the hint is

she really likes to play with it

and was watching me

waiting until I picked it up

so she could play some more.

 

When illegal things is all that is left

where do you go from there?

I have survived worse

but that does not make it simpler.

The world conspires to bring you only darkness

when do you stop fighting the depression

and give in?

I am a fighter

so I know how hard that is.

Until the inevitable happens

I will not give in!

When you hope things actually work

the way they are supposed to

and they don’t.

The scrambling to pick up the pieces

in order to mitigate the damage

and keep some semblance of routine going.

When your heart is full of worries

and all you can do is be sympathetic

instead of being selfishly cruel.

I wonder where the bottom is

when you think you already hit it?

Eyes see differences

Where the heart sees none.

Colours and abilities

Turn out to be more fun.

We all live complex lives

Sharing this rat race we run.

Living beside each other

Dreaming of tomorrow when our days are done.

Waking up and smiling

For today there is simply some sun.