It had been years in the making.
Situations every day.
If not one
then another took their place.
School is supposed to be safe.
How can I convince my child
that they may always be a target
and the only way
is to be stronger in will than the bullies?
It breaks my heart knowing
that the fear of victimization
is stronger than anything else in my child.
Things look different.
It used to be cold.
There was a depression in the air.
I still feel it hanging around.
Yet, life does not stop.
Appointments, errands need to be dealt with.
Food is a requirement.
How do I juggle all of the problems?
Yet, things get done.
Somehow.
Yet conscientiously I know they will.
So I await for the phone to ring.
Scrolling through the videos
I find a funny cat one.
Then not to my surprise
my phone rings just as it starts to get good.
What is there to be afraid of?
Terrorists?
Threats?
Bombings?
Serial Killers?
Bullies?
Death?
Or am I really just afraid
to admit to myself
that something needs to change?
Shenanigans happen.
The world continues to rotate.
Hatred is taught.
Friends come to visit.
Politics undermine the economy.
Grief is misunderstood.
So when will I have time to clean my house
when everything else needs to be cleaned up first?
I prefer watching the movie
with the original language.
Only problem is when
the translation is off
and when you see
the Hello introduction
and the person’s name
comes out like a mayonnaise advertisement.
Go to bed at a set time.
Put away all electronics.
Change the sheets regularly.
Don’t wear pajamas all day.
Have a cute sleep companion.
I wish I could adhere to all of these
but at least I have the cat to keep me company.
Outrage is understandable
when expectations are undermined.
Such as you find out
that someone was using you
after promising something else.
I wonder if politics these days
is merely pushing how far
they can get away with stuff
before the outrage happens.
Still, consequences seem to be mild if not nil.
I have begun to realize
my panic attacks happen
when I do not have time
between my appointments
that I feel is comfortable.
Like a full day.
Less than that
I need to be able
to get from one to the other in ample time.
Like an hour or two.
So virtual appointments sometimes work.
Unless they are scheduled
one after the other.
Then I really hope someone else cooks supper.
It may have been done before
but not by me,
so watch as I pour the chocolate
over the peanut butter
and eat a new sandwich!
Saturn's Premier Poet 