Back up plans are good to have.
Things sometimes go wrong.
Like you have a second get away car.
Or extra batteries for your night time activities.
But children are never dispensable
and it is a mindset
I truly do not like.
So I will continue to love
and teach my children
all the necessary skills they may need.
Never tell an enemy
what protections you have in place.
They will figure them out
eventually,
but until they do
you have a little more time
being safe.
Enemies know how to pierce through
the toughest security measures
no matter how many walls you build.
The worst ones
are those who know how to get through
your emotional ones.
The abuse they wreak
will leave you traumatized
for years.
Out of the comfort zone.
Through desire or worse –
outside pressures.
Rising to the challenges
takes a lot of energy.
What happens
when you desperately need that energy
just to survive?
Up and down.
Side to side.
Back and forth.
Not quite a roller coaster ride
But this Spring
Moods fluctuate much more radically.
Constant meowing.
Rubbing against the legs.
Big eyes pleading.
Love nibbles when taking too long.
Absolute delight rolling around in the stuff.
Sleeping off the hit.
Then meowing for more upon wakefulness.
When the fun is all in taking it apart!
Figuring out how it was put together.
Seeing the insides.
Looking at each part individually.
Then eating the resulting mess!
That is why I love making lasagna!
The surreal beauty.
Accomplishment achieved.
Pride in what you do.
Inspired by others.
Leaning into strength.
What do you do
when your child
is a drop out?
Do you encourage them
to be whatever they want to be?
Do you express
your disappointment and anger?
Do you succumb
to the despair of being a failed parent?
Or do you try to continue
to figure out the best things
for both of you?
Musings on life.
Bring it on.
Pasta Riveria.
Sowing wild oats.
Nothing quinoa about this.
If you need anything
Just let me know, OK?
Is there some way I can help you?
Don’t be afraid to call if something comes up!!
I have learned the hard way
that asking for help
is not a sin.
I should not feel guilty
because I have problems.
Yet, so many people
don’t understand,
asking for help
is not a simple thing to do.
Cultural and social norms
put pressure on everyone
to be able to go it alone!
If you can’t do this one thing
then how do you expect to follow through?
Even my mother told me
“If no one else is doing it, then just do it yourself! I did it!”
Except I am not her.
I have problems because of her advice
and now even though I understand why
it still hurts to realize
she will never understand why
I can not just do it!
Whether it is a simple chore
or finding a job
or looking after my kids.
Years of coping strategies
that were more detrimental than helpful
have taken their toll.
Only now,
do I know how to use my voice
and ask for the help
I sometimes need!
Saturn's Premier Poet 