Poetry

A walk before my coffee.

Appointments to attend.

Cleaning to be done.

Why is the couch so inviting?

That blanket whispers temptations

that I am finding hard to resist!

People play.

Alone.

Or with others.

Sometimes there are rules.

A board that one follows.

Or cards to shuffle and place.

The game that hurts the most

involves hearts

and emotions that can not be controlled.

Coffee is involved.

In one form or another.

Sometimes I remember

breaking the overnight fast

should involve edible foods

other than just the early morning caffeine.

Sentimental madness

careens around my heart

bursting through the glass walls.

Heavy handed pirouettes

flash by each time I draw in a sigh.

I am not an insecure woman

drawn to petty jokes.

Just a soul who’s broken

and can not remember where

I left the industrial glue.

They were right when they said it.

They were right when you didn’t want to believe it.

They were right to tell you.

They were right and you were wrong.

You were wrong to doubt them.

You were wrong to ignore them.

You were wrong.

But now that you know you were wrong

how hard is it to apologize?

Pride hangs on being right.

Pride learns that you can be prouder of yourself

for admitting a weakness

because a true friend already knew about it.

After 17 years I finally understand

how to be a mother.

In my 44th year I knew sex

and learned how to be a good lover.

A marriage taught me I can’t change anyone but myself.

Divorce gave me a new perspective on freedom.

Yet I don’t know how to say good-bye.

I don’t know if I will ever learn how to

let the ones I love go.

They must find the truth themselves

and I can no longer be there.

I will be elsewhere.

Responsibility.

Pay this.

Pay that.

Pay now.

Regret later.

Don’t live your dreams.

Die in the fiery breathe of anxiety.

Only time will give you perspective when it runs out!

Disconnect.

Disconnect.

Disconnect.

We are disconnected!

All is wrong in the world!

We need to connect.

Connect.

Connect.

Connect.

Yes Cat videos are my to peruse!

To be positive

I must focus on what I am able to do.

To be positive

I must love all unruly body parts of myself.

To be positive

I must like who I am no matter the action completed.

To be positive

I simply must not allow myself to be negative!

What can I say.

I lost.

I wanted more than He could give.

I wanted a lover

not just a friend.

But in the end

sadness and loneliness

are all I ever seem to know.