Poetry

Claimed

Taken

Preferred

Wanted

Meaningful

Desired

In all ways

Loved

I wrote my heart out.

I put in all my woes.

My fleshly desires.

My unspoken pleasures.

I wanted to let someone know.

Fear has kept my voice quiet.

Words are hard to find

but the alternative is silence!

Strength does not come from

doing it all yourself!

It comes from realizing that you need help.

That there are others who care about you.

People who want to help.

Asking them for help

and breaking your proud stance

is the hardest thing you will ever have to do!

It whips the hair across the face.

Haphazardly placing it over the eyes.

The icy tendrils creep under the coat.

Shivers run down the length of the spine.

Hot chocolate and blankets

are the only remedy on such a day as this!

 

Distracted.

Focus gone.

Tiredness.

Where are my thoughts?

Going,

Going,

Gone!

Wait?

What was that?

I like his lips.

They feel so good

against mine.

He knows when I like it hard

or when to go soft.

He is a very good kisser.

The symptoms are not always noticed

A sniffle here

An itchy throat

Muscles sore

Until combined

all you can do is lie down and rest.

I am in debt.

It grows slowly

Each month

larger and uneasy.

I am not defeated.

I must change my tactics.

Use the knowledge

I have acquired

and manage my money.

I have not won

but neither have I lost!

I care about what other people think.

I have learned it matters to me.

I can not control what is inside them

and yet I care what they think of me.

And it is always about me!

Am I selfish?

or am I scared?

I don’t know

but worrying about it sucks!

I talk too much.

I talk too fast.

I say things

without knowing how they affect others.

I only realize afterwards

when the hurt appears on their faces.

I want to be friends.

I want to be friendly

and yet I am thrown into saying I’m sorry.