Poetry

Suicidal ideation – Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicidal_ideation

Suicidal ideation is thinking about, considering, or planning suicide. It is not a diagnosis, but is a symptom of some mental disorders and can also occur in response to adverse events without the presence of a mental disorder. On suicide risk scales, the range of suicidal ideation varies from fleeting thoughts to detailed planning.

We think we have had them.

Thoughts bordering on the ludicrous.

Yet there are those of us who do this daily.

Trying to tell ourselves we are worthy.

Worthy to be alive.

Worthy to breathe.

Worthy to talk.

Worthy to love.

How many of us realize just how much worth we truly are?

My struggles continue.

I flail miserably.

Yet for some reason

I do not drown.

I wander aimlessly

unable to feel joy.

Can I try to be better?

If I had the strength

what would I really do?

They each have a unique scent.

Curled up on my chest

I put my head down

and breathe.

Their head rests on my shoulder

as their purrs resonate through them

into me.

I can breathe.

Until a strand of fur flies up my nose

and I sneeze.

The angel misspoke.

Things went perpendicular

before going off tangent.

It was not a calculated risk.

More like a division

between the fractions.

The sum of the experience

gave way to the roots squared

and the heavenly being left.

Stress

Anxiety

Worry

Doubt

Insecurity

Fear

Grief

Philosophy kick.

Not a magazine.

Thoughts in words.

Dangerous or benign.

All asking will you

like me and what I do?

If so, please subscribe.

Games played are not always won.

A family with allergies.

A caterer sent to feed them.

The allergen that would kill them

is mislabeled by the parents

as not threatening to them.

So fed to them it is.

All because of one mistake.

So the grandmother must take care of them

until they recover or die.

They did not listen to her advice.

Then neighbours stop by

and also see the devastation caused

and the family offers up sandwiches left by the caterer.

What if that caterer was a disease

and the family people who disliked injections.

Once the neighbours were involved

and they have been made ill too

ask yourself…

Whose to blame for the neighbourhood’s destruction?

The caterer/disease?

The family?

Or fact that they could have prevented all of this

with a simple injection?

Like the advice that the grandmother said would help?

Stubborn people do not always think of others

nor do the others think they have anything to fear.

Not a word.

But it rolls off the tongue smoothly.

I wonder if it is a process?

Or a mere philosophy?

It could be the process of people

finally accepting the truth about facts

and that science does not know all the answers

but is better prepared for reality than

say,

conspiracy theories?

Or it is just a nonsense word made up by me.

Prayers whispered up fervently.

A desire to do good once it is over.

A promise that the good dead will be done.

All in the name of the heavens

should the hammering pain go away.

As the day goes on

the temperature rises.

As the sun continues to rise

the days grow warmer.

As the weeks go by

outside looks brighter and brighter.

As the years go by

we find ourselves in a crisis.

But what do we care

if the world gets warmer and warmer.