The time is coming.
The task still needs to be done.
Yet, the consequences are minimal
If not none.
So do I need to adhere to this self imposed deadline.
Outside voices say, yes, discipline must be maintained.
Whereas my inner voice goes
Just ignore it.
You can hyper focus on something else instead.
A leak.
It drips.
Above the kitchen cupboards.
Maintenance is called.
Plumber swears.
Overtime ensues.
The stench lingers
But at least he cleaned up most of the mess.
It is safe to use once again.
Mental block.
Extreme emotional guilt.
Physically sick.
Why?
Why can I not get this simple task done?
On purpose.
Pranks gone wrong.
The cat purrs in my ear.
I will always love you.
His motivations I could see.
His struggles were perilous.
Stockholm syndrome?
Or merely sympathizing with someone
who was hurt
and was going through a very harsh time.
No explanation seems adequate
when I say I love him
and I understand why he was obsessed with her
and did the things he did.
No harm came from his actions
except loss of friends
and self esteem,
which is why
I decided to stand beside him.
He is my friend.
Toasted
And baked.
The thunderstorm
Is welcome
For this
Burnt potato
I used
To call
My body.
Now
It is just
A husk.
No longer
Can he
Venture outside.
The new neighbours
Are not friendly
To him.
One will try to rip
Out the screen
To get at him.
The other one
Would ambush him
By the back door.
Neither cat
Will harm him.
I swear
Which is why
He meows
Piteously at me
Not understanding
That he is
Forever now
An indoor cat.
I have a cat
Insisting on using me
As his pillow.
In this heat
I would rather
He strangled me instead.
I have been thinking about you.
How I cannot understand
Why someone like you
Would like someone like me.
I find it difficult to say things
Even though I know you will listen.
I feel supported in a loving relationship.
Something in all of my adult life
I have never felt before.
I grew up
Having to prove I was strong
Independent
Able to take care of myself.
All I ever wanted was to run away.
Escape.
Leave behind the guilt and disillusionment
That I was someone.
That I was someone.
That I could be someone.
Not just anyone
But someone significant.
As I work through my traumas
I know I will have your support
Even though it still feels unreal.
Also, I will keep reminding you
Of how amazing you are
Because I know there are days
Where you don’t feel it.
I never thought I would actually find my soulmate.
But I did.
Thank you.
I love you Title Boy!
Saturn’s Premier Poet.
Exchanging numbers
so the cats can keep peace.
She roams free
until I request
My boy have some bird watching time.
Saturn's Premier Poet 