Poetry

I choose to show up.

I am willing to be responsible.

I can be patient.

Up to a point.

Even I have days

where things overwhelm me.

Those are the days

when I need to remember

to be thankful.

Nothing is changing.

All that is happening is frustration.

Who can keep up under this pressure.

Things look down

and it looks like they will keep going.

Gold stars are hard to find some days.

Two of them even harder.

I am more aware of the communication problem

I have with my child.

They are maturing and I can see the signs.

Small wins are still gold stars.

My wish is that someday

they will move out of my house

and I can stop worrying about their decision making process.

I know as a mother

I will never stop worrying

about my children.

Yet, this one worries me the most.

How cold are you?

Do you feel remorse?

Is empathy just not in your vocabulary?

You act cruelly.

You are mean and spiteful.

Bitterness rules your heart.

I wonder if anyone had been kind to you

would you still be this way?

In blood, sweat and tears.

In full.

Traded for it.

What a bargain!

Haggled them down.

What did you pay?

Nil, nada nothing!

What did you get?

Nil, nada nothing!

When the hurt

surrounds your head

like a cap

and all you can think of

is how to get it off.

If I say yes right now

I will find myself

feeling drained and exhausted tomorrow.

If I say yes right now

It means that I will not have time

to spend with my family.

If I say yes right now

You will not have me available

later when you truly need it.

So, I will say No right now

because I want to be able

to give you my best Yes

the next time you ask me.

Like a can of sardines.

Jam full to the brim of the jar.

For the long flight ahead.

Like a washboard on your abs.

Full of lies and deceit.

Packed.

And there ain’t no going back.

Going up the hill

In Autumn’s chill

I try to find the time

where I can make a rhyme

to end this darn poem.

Somehow

I simply cannot unearth the words,

So I listen to the birds.

Watching video

after video.

Reading comics.

Checking news sites.

Checking new sites.

Busying oneself

with doing anything

but the job at hand.