Poetry

It is simple to tap into the sad.

Years of experience to draw upon.

Joy and happiness are harder to recall.

Despair seems to have seeped into my soul.

Yet, I fight against it daily.

Constantly changing.

Depends on who I talk to.

Pathways diverge.

Meetings happen.

Mistakes are made.

Laughter sometimes ensues.

What I am worth

is never defined by you.

Why do people like me?
I have never understood this.

Not everyone does

but that is okay with me.

Those that do like me

I am not sure why?

They laugh sometimes at my silly puns.

They smile when I tell them about my day.

I try to listen when they talk.

Sometimes I make them something as a thank you.

I appreciate my friends

because they appreciate me.

Maybe that is why they like me?

A big bottle of Bailey’s liqueur.

A giant inflatable balloon.

Someone to pick up my kid from school.

A chance to see a movie star.

Ten more hours of sleep.

Sorry, I am not feeling well.

Despondency and loopiness

sometimes go hand in hand.

Assumptions can be funny.

When you hear the wrong thing.

Seeing a poster or a sign

and having to a moment to properly read it.

The worst though

is when someone interprets

what you said the wrong way

and refuses to correct themselves

after you have explained their mistake.

Sitting, gasping for air.

It doesn’t quit.

It continues and grows.

Subsiding occasionally.

This noise from the inside

makes my outsides quiver.

Take your vitamins.

Stretch those muscles.

Prescribed pills managed.

Write that poem.

Self care routine.

Learn your limits.

Take a pill.

Make it go bye-bye.

Pulses and throbbing.

Eyes want to stay closed.

Cry because I can.

A little tiny seed.

Planted with doubt.

Watered with misinformation.

Encouraged by Worry.

Blossoms into terror.

Break downs result and tantrums thrown.

All from a niggling twinge of negative self consciousness.

Sitting in Emergency

Waiting for the nurse.

My friend moans and winces in pain.

I ask him his name

just to make a joke.

He grimaces at me.

Then because of the hour

and the lack of sleep

I wonder

What is his name?