Poetry

Notepad at the ready.

Pen in hand.

Scribblings coming out fast.

Illegible because the lights are off.

I missed this house.

I got sick and could not come over last time.

Now that I am here

It feels so calm.

I have joy in my heart

Because I get to see my best friend

And we will talk and have fun together.

I had a thought.

It disappeared.

It came back again.

T’was the next year.

So I thought.

Fear will became cheer.

Ankle high boots.

Knee high snow drifts.

Walking to the car

means I will have to be wading through the drifts.

Or trying to hopscotch

to thinner patches of snow.

Either way,

I will be covered in snow.

When you are a kid

there is nothing better.

You get to stay home.

Play in the snow

and not have to go school.

Sometimes you even get hot chocolate.

As a parent

it can be sheer hell.

When it hits.

Sometimes it guts me.

Depression sucks my life away.

All I can do

is let it ride out.

I can handle this.

I know what to do.

Problems happen.

Solutions are there.

I just need the energy

to go through with them.

I thought I was doing okay.

Things were getting better.

Yet, I knew there were things I was avoiding.

Now, I have no choice.

I must deal with this problem

or I will keep getting more and more stressed.

Which anyone knows

is the quickest way for me to have depression surge.

This time, intrusive thoughts,

that do not belong in me, have started again.

The sun is shining.

It looks so inviting outside.

The snow is melting.

Until you step outside

and realize it is still friggin’ cold.

I love it

when I have it.

I hate it

when bills are due.

I despise it

when all I want is healthy meal

and not a bag of chips.