It sometimes happens in once upon a time
but rarer
for it happens to each individual
and what their lifetime entails
will not be the same
so the once in a lifetime
could be the perfect job or spouse
or for some
it could just be a few breathes of life
before their parents hold them
and love them
for the precious moments they had together.
No one will understand the true depths
of another’s once
but all are valid and given freely.
I’ll get back into gardening
and then I’ll try writing that novel
or be able to go on that cruise I wish to go on.
Maybe I’ll be able to find the perfect partner
or at least someone who I like to hang out with.
Wouldn’t it be nice if I was able to afford a bigger house
or perhaps a new car.
I don’t understand why people dream for the impossible
yet here I am doing it myself.
Anyone tells you otherwise
they are trying to sell you something.
Like a bridge over the Grand Canyon
or the fact you are worthless.
Or maybe its a cult
and they debate you into it.
Wait, I think the corporations
have already done this?
Nah, why shouldn’t I believe them
when they tell me I’m not pretty enough
or slim enough or funny enough
because I don’t use their products.
Maybe because I am my own person
and know my own self worth
and I refuse to let them define me!
When you realize
you will not have enough time.
The things to accomplish
will never be done
today.
There is always tomorrow
and you can enjoy what you have left
of whatever weather you experience
and the ways it makes you feel.
First it was the tailbone
Then I scraped my finger
Next was a bruised thigh
and oh did it hurt
I wonder what clumsy action
will provide the new pain?
Dark brown liquid
in my mug which brings me joy
its my wake up juice
The place I feel happiest
is when I am at my friend’s house.
We talk, laugh and play games.
I feel comfortable and wanted.
I do not feel like a burden
or stressed out when I am there.
My house is not so comfortable
but that is because I have responsibilities
that need to be performed.
Am I able to drive through a thunderstorm?
Would I be willing to jump into a vat of sharks?
If asked to sign my finances away
would I be willing?
Could I step into a fire in order to get through it?
What would be the consequences of my inactions?
Or is it I am depressed
and the numbness won’t go away?
She has me trained.
She knows what the laser pointer does
and she knows the sound of when I pick it up.
She also knows where we usually keep it
so she will sit in front of the computer screen
and look at me
until I pick it up and play with her!
Does he want me to remember it
or would he rather I not acknowledge it?
I do not have a present
other than my love and well wishes.
He is getting older and is full of pain.
All I want is to be with him
and help him laugh.
But,
I also know if I try to force any unwanted attention
on him
he’ll be upset.
So,
do I try to celebrate his birthday or not?
