Emotional Regulation Cat

I am not allowed to raise my voice.

I am not allowed to voice displeasure.

I am not allowed to be angry.

She only wants me to be calm

so she can cuddle on me.

Otherwise it is love nips

and pathetic mews that show her distress

at my undesirable display of hard emotions.

So I am forced to be calm

or suffer her claws and mews

at her overwhelming displeasure!

 

I will remember

Once the story is told

The breadth of it will hurt many.

But I will remember.

The deceptions and lies

Undercutting the truth

I will remember.

The defences and the blame

All to cover up the shame

But I will remember.

History will distort these events

Taking facts out of context

And still I will remember.

Try, try again

Irony is in the folded pant cuff

that keeps unrolling

as you steam it.

Actions that continue to be done

time and time again

even though the results are the same.

Failure is a tool,

but so is knowing

when failure is no longer an option

and choosing a different strategy.

Wake up and smell the coffee

because this fall

the snow has already covered the late blooming flowers.

So enjoy what is left of the morning

and practice what you preach

or end up as a stoned monument in the past.

Updating Life

Skills have gotten rusty

Need to practice

Where did my stamina go?

Wow, breathing is difficult

Break is needed

When did this get difficult?

Wait, the skill is not necessary

why don’t I just stick with…

What do you mean it’s outdated?

Time to go back to school.

Fear of the Future

Uncertainty is killing me.

I can not chose or decide.

What holds me back

is that which put me here

in the first place.

All I want is to be capable

of doing what needs to be done

and yet I tremble at the thought

of stepping outside my door.

Things won’t go well

if I just ignore them

and so I deny the facts

and hide

hoping that a miracle happens

knowing that

it will only be granted once I open my eyes

and take that first step.

Outside.