It feels good to have friends
Who watch your back.
They feel outrage
At the situations happening
That even they have no control over
On your behalf.
This is still a marvel
That should never be
Taken for granted.
Yet some days
We forget
Or for granted we do.
Money rules this day and age.
It always has.
Barter is not common enough to replace it.
So working is the only answer.
Have someone give you money
for the services you provide.
Yet what happens when the only thing left
of the amount you received
is not even enough
for a stick of gum?
It could be chilly weather
It really blows
Getting to see my best friend
Ends some of my woes.
A bright spot
in this week of turmoil
A friendly face
is what I call the perfect foil.
Life is hard
Cold, bitter and dark.
It is people who care
that make their mark.
This is a shoutout
to the ones who keep us sane.
For without their support
We would never be the same.
Working.
Striving to be better.
Thinking things might be okay.
Only to have it all pulled out from under me.
Questions burn.
The struggle is to not let the Depression win.
Do something.
Anything that will allow me to not fall.
Failure to due so may result in a catastrophic loss.
One that I have been teetering on for years.
The week looks promising.
Potential is limitless.
Responsibilities demand attention.
Chances are.
Opportunities come.
Setbacks occur.
Fresh signs pop up.
Time may not be on our side
but life will always continue on.
Regrets
Contentment
Either can happen
As your eyes try to open
Before your mouth is ready to speak.
Stay in bed awhile longer
Or go make that wonderful coffee?
If it’s up to my cats
Sleeping in is no longer an option.
Soft footsteps of the elephant’s cement shoes.
Foreboding fills the air.
Going downstairs to escape is not an option.
Take a deep breath and just breathe.
The terror child comes down the stairs.
I greet her and smile as she tells me she is hungry.
My brain rewires itself and I have to remind myself
She is not a terror.
My brain is playing tricks on me again.
I’m not even shopping
yet the ADs still find me.
A simple game or video to watch
and boom, they pop up.
I could always pay to make them go away
but that is even worse.
All the money that would go to the items I could have purchased
now go to them anyways without even getting anything in return.
Oh you sneaky sneaky internet commercials.
I hate you!
I am eating.
I’m just not eating enough.
Come the evening I decline to have supper.
I barely have breakfast.
Mostly coffee.
Maybe something for lunch.
But even though the stomach growls
It is ignored and I refuse to come downstairs
to eat or drink.
My choices baffle me.
I wonder if this mental health crisis
is affecting me deeper than I thought?
Is this a sign my depression is once again getting worse?
I don’t know but for now the kitchen is out of bounds.
Meaningful goobley gook
or nonsense spewed randomly?
Habits change
but discipline remains.
Is my choice a valid one
or am I merely playing a part
once again?
