When you ask a friend
to pick up a jug of milk,
how galling it feels
to be lowered
to such a humiliating level.
Yet, if that is the only source of food
you have for your children
you do whatever it takes to keep them alive.
And pray that next week
the food bank has more vegetables
instead of merely rice and pasta.
The Eat Healthy diets
only work if you can afford them.
Two letters.
Powerful.
Does not mean yes.
Does not mean maybe.
Does not mean talk over me.
Does not mean anything but no!
So if you don’t listen to these two letters
it simply means you won’t listen to anything else I say.
But there is someone I know who will.
Anxiety has many faces.
Some get panic attacks.
Others always have to be early
or exactly on time.
For many perfection is everything.
While others it is the appearance that counts.
Me, I get anxious when certain household items are about to run out.
Then I stock up on everything possible!
I choose to show up.
I am willing to be responsible.
I can be patient.
Up to a point.
Even I have days
where things overwhelm me.
Those are the days
when I need to remember
to be thankful.
Nothing is changing.
All that is happening is frustration.
Who can keep up under this pressure.
Things look down
and it looks like they will keep going.
Gold stars are hard to find some days.
Two of them even harder.
I am more aware of the communication problem
I have with my child.
They are maturing and I can see the signs.
Small wins are still gold stars.
My wish is that someday
they will move out of my house
and I can stop worrying about their decision making process.
I know as a mother
I will never stop worrying
about my children.
Yet, this one worries me the most.
How cold are you?
Do you feel remorse?
Is empathy just not in your vocabulary?
You act cruelly.
You are mean and spiteful.
Bitterness rules your heart.
I wonder if anyone had been kind to you
would you still be this way?
In blood, sweat and tears.
In full.
Traded for it.
What a bargain!
Haggled them down.
What did you pay?
Nil, nada nothing!
What did you get?
Nil, nada nothing!
When the hurt
surrounds your head
like a cap
and all you can think of
is how to get it off.
If I say yes right now
I will find myself
feeling drained and exhausted tomorrow.
If I say yes right now
It means that I will not have time
to spend with my family.
If I say yes right now
You will not have me available
later when you truly need it.
So, I will say No right now
because I want to be able
to give you my best Yes
the next time you ask me.
Saturn's Premier Poet 