My mood goes sour.
I think the worst of myself,
even though I know he tried to not imply it.
A larger woman.
A problem with the mattress.
It could just be the sheets but that doesn’t matter anymore.
It is my weight and that is what’s wrong with the night time routine.
Once for being born.
The second for staying alive.
The third for not dying when they deemed it appropriate.
Some days you just have to be the conversation piece.
Other times be the change.
Looking forward.
One glance backwards.
Time to be pragmatic.
Offense just started.
Next time a path less chosen could be a little more comfortable.
Until then walk on and strive for production values.
Feeling feverish despite not being sick.
Shutting down completely even if the trauma does not happen again.
Being triggered by phrases or noises,
even smells sometimes cause the stress to over load.
Closing off all contact and hoping to be forgotten.
Dreading things that might not happen.
Experiencing panic when a certain subject is alluded to.
Still finding patterns where life is too scary.
Morals are not useful
when there is no clear answer available.
For good.
For evil.
The knowledge is held within you.
Operational time is what you decide to do with the intellect you have.
Elk are scratching the tree.
Blue jays squawk above.
Raccoons stride slowly beside them.
A beaver sits and wonders if he needs it.
The magpie just laughs.
Descriptions give partial answers.
Listening sometimes explains things.
Other senses can be fooled.
My writing seems to be awkward.
Everything about me is strictly me.
Not you.
The plague hits everyone differently.
Some get paranoid and run away, hiding forever.
Others strut to show how powerful they.
The sickness won’t get them down.
Most live our lives
trying to stay alive
and not be the infected one
next to the neighbours
who are immunocompromised.
The covid 19 rapid test came back negative.
Still, I was paranoid enough to take it.
Which means I should listen to my body
and stay home to recover.
Not usually one that is offered.
The times are changing.
What comes around will continue to go around.
The merry go round is dizzy.
Do not get ice cream.
Saturn's Premier Poet 