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When you are a kid

there is nothing better.

You get to stay home.

Play in the snow

and not have to go school.

Sometimes you even get hot chocolate.

As a parent

it can be sheer hell.

When it hits.

Sometimes it guts me.

Depression sucks my life away.

All I can do

is let it ride out.

I can handle this.

I know what to do.

Problems happen.

Solutions are there.

I just need the energy

to go through with them.

I thought I was doing okay.

Things were getting better.

Yet, I knew there were things I was avoiding.

Now, I have no choice.

I must deal with this problem

or I will keep getting more and more stressed.

Which anyone knows

is the quickest way for me to have depression surge.

This time, intrusive thoughts,

that do not belong in me, have started again.

The sun is shining.

It looks so inviting outside.

The snow is melting.

Until you step outside

and realize it is still friggin’ cold.

I love it

when I have it.

I hate it

when bills are due.

I despise it

when all I want is healthy meal

and not a bag of chips.

My carpets do not allow me to do this.

I have no rugs

because I have laminate floors.

Hardwood is too expense

and difficult for me to maintain.

So instead I will merely use the euphuism

and ignore my other problems.

Some people love them.

Others hate them.

I do not have a bland palette

but when the spicy gets hot….

Though I am also

still trying to figure out

which ones work best with each other.

They give you pictures and drawings

when they are young.

Sometimes a prize from outside.

But the one thing

you can always count on

is whatever sickness

they have come down with.