Guilt is a shame
hidden in words
made to confuse your emotions.
I have learned to spot it
after all these years.
Except when it is in my head
and the dreaded “should”
bashes around in it.
Guilt is a shame
hidden in words
made to confuse your emotions.
I have learned to spot it
after all these years.
Except when it is in my head
and the dreaded “should”
bashes around in it.
Is this my own thought?
Did I ask to do this?
Who did I think it was?
Gravity falls down.
My eyes turn star ward.
Light clouds my mind.
Mentally exhausted.
Physically sick.
Emotionally stressed.
No wonder I have trouble concentrating.
Oh sorry, that is just my ADHD.
No coffee this morning.
No sleep last night.
Food has not been eaten.
The mood is strife.
I don’t understand my feelings tonight.
All I do is cry and laugh as I cry.
ADHD special.
I am specifically told
not to do something.
Like do not put eggshells
in the potted RavenZZ plant.
A few months later,
while shelling eggs
I dump the eggshells
in the plants pot.
A month later
as it is dying
I see the eggshells
and remember
“oh right, they were not supposed to be there!”
Now my friend
is trying to undo the damage I did.
The weather yesterday
was so nice.
Warm and a little breezy.
This morning
once again,
when I am scheduled to meet my friend,
it is cold
and the wind chills you to the bone.
As daunting as the task may seem
You need to do you!
If your bucket is empty
you need to refill it with things that make you happy.
Otherwise, those emptying it out
will fill it with something
you do not want.
Crisis mode
is something I can not get out of.
I see the light at the end of the tunnel
but then detours and cross sections
run me off track.
Making my way to the end
is so difficult
and I am so very tired.
A knife.
Your fist.
A cable.
Metal run around the coil.
Yet, wounds seem more frequent.
The thought came to me.
Hours ago.
It resounded throughout my head.
Yet, now when I try to recall this brilliant idea
All that comes up is mystery.