Exit only to get food.
To get rid of the waste biproducts.
Vaguely remember other people.
Today is cave day.
Recharge the energy used from the past week.
Hermit shall I be, until tomorrow, at least.
Blog
Hosting
People coming over.
House to be cleaned.
Food to be prepared.
Clothes to be nice.
Social small talk.
Exhaustion afterwards.
Still cleaning up to be done.
I have no joy in this task.
So please do not ask me to host.
Are you available
Scheduling dilemmas
overwhelm those who cannot see joy.
Obligation strikes fear
into what should be a happy occasion.
Comfort and peace
come at a price.
If blood is thicker than water
maybe we should stop spilling it.
Fringe
You say without the core
the fringes would not survive.
Perhaps you misunderstand,
the fringe does not want to be the core,
they merely want to be treated with respect,
Courteousness and kindness.
All things the core takes for granted.
Mainly because they have the fringe to scapegoat.
No one wants to be the scapegoat
and doing something to change it
is what the core is really afraid of.
They don’t want to give up their comfort zone
and so try to push the fringes away – again.
Journey
One path started.
Obstacles littered in the way.
Trying to get past them.
Learning to overcome them costs much.
Then a single offshoot
becomes the main route
for it tells of why those obstacles were there
and why they should not have been.
So instead of the regular stones and tree branches,
Mud and rain slow down the progress
because society does not see me
past my disabilities,
merely for what value I might offer it
in the standard way.
When I try to argue my value is not there
More dirt is thrown in front of me
and I have to keep moving from the blizzard that was created.
Cynical
I have learned this behaviour.
My brothers took advantage of my gullibility.
I used to believe everything I was told.
I would take someone’s word as truth.
To others I would spout what I had been told.
They would question this opinion.
To often I would have no answer to their opposing opinion.
So I have had to learn to listen
and think
and check the story being told
and then see if it is one I deem worthy enough for me to share.
He’s mad at me
I know he is not angry
He is frustrated at the situation.
My brain
Late at night
Turns to telling me
He is disappointed and mad at me.
So I try to turn the rhetoric back upon itself.
I will try to keep those thoughts
As reminders to get through this time
But in no way,
Can I allow them to overwhelm me.
The Universe
A chess set.
A mini picnic.
Remote control.
Dolls for worrying.
Things that all fir in a pillowcase.
Christmas lights
As a child
If we had to go to the city
My father as a treat
As the evening came
Would drive slowly through neighbourhoods
So we could look at all the displays
Before going home.
To this day
I find joy
In the simple brilliance
Of a Christmas display lit up.
Re evaluating
Choices I have made.
The skills I have learned.
Reactions from those I care about.
The quality of my life going forward.
My dreams and wishes.
I have had to give up on so many of my dreams
because of this…
because of that…
Life got in the way.
I am not giving up.
My course has changed directions.
Saturn's Premier Poet 