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I have had so many.

I want to do this!

but I can’t.

I don’t have the skills.

I want to try this!

but I am scared!

I want to be this!

but I’m old now and no longer have the energy to fight!

I wonder what dream will die tomorrow.

We all sit in different rooms

Each on our own electronic device.

Supper may be made

or we all fend for ourselves.

Eventually I call for bedtime

and if I’m lucky

there is minimal fuss.

Otherwise my evening takes longer than I would like!

The truth is I still do stupid things

like stay up very late playing games.

I still eat things I know I should not.

I just really like chips.

I sit down and do not walk as much as I should

but then to justify it all

I say

I’m young at heart

and then laugh at myself for my absurdities.

 

The under lying feeling of dread.

Uncertainty.

The inability to be completely calm.

The current times are full of injustices.

People are told lies

and then they believe them.

Hate is everywhere

and love seems impossible.

Protecting loved ones is crucial

yet somehow society is failing.

Both them and us!

How are we to continue on in such a manner as this?

He’s coloured to look like a loaf of bread.

He’s a big softie and loves to cuddle.

He also loves the freedom of outside.

He is still scared of her

thinking she will attack him.

He is getting bolder and comes up from the basement more often.

I love my cats and right now

with him sleeping on me

I love him all the more!

Should I care?

Why don’t I care?

Do I care more about my sleep?

Or is my child spoiled?

I really should learn to figure out the parental controls on all my electronics.

There are the games.

The social media to scroll.

The puzzles and crafts to work on.

The walks to be enjoyed.

All so I can avoid the housework!

I hear her laughing

as she plays at the computer.

She should be sleeping but

this one is stubborn.

It runs in the family.

Plus our neighbour

who is doing the same thing

probably is not helping this decision.

Since Spring has come

sleep patterns are gone out the window.

 

Had it for years.

Then

A crack appeared.

No seepage detected.

It was only hairline thin.

So I hoped for the best.

Then one day

I found droplets on the table.

My coffee was escaping!

Doomed it is.

I don’t know if I have the heart to throw it out.

All I know is I do not know how to fix it.

That makes me sad.

For now it sits in the cupboard

where I can look at it day after day

and not use it.

She is unique to me.

She has quirks that frustrate me

and make me love her more.

She is kind yet stern.

She loves to cook and garden

neither are things I truly enjoy.

She read me stories

before I learned to read myself.

She loved me

even though she doesn’t say it.

I love her.

My mother.