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I do not believe I can do this.

It wasn’t the right time.

I was out of place.

No one will believe me.

Who would want to talk to me?

I’m just having a bad day.

Except,

every day is a bad day.

Choosing an outfit

Is like trying to decide

if you should wear a plastic rainsuit

or a sundress with an umbrella hat.

The criteria used

Is based on the wrong gender.

You have known for years

That something was different about you.

Your thoughts, your actions

Your decisions were based on trying to fit in.

Be normal.

Be a good citizen

And society will accept you.

But the truth is

You will never be accepted

Because you are not normal.

You know the diagnosis you should have.

Yet the physician, therapist or psychiatrist

All base your symptoms

On research that never took in to consideration

That you are female.

Not male.

We are equal

But that does not mean

We are the same.

A baseball player

Does not have the skill set to play football.

In the Halo ring above us

We wait for the signs.

Attacks come from seemingly nowhere.

Yet we all know they are coming.

So we watch and we worry

about the coming storm.

A slough of words

Spill across the headstone.

Some intended.

Some not.

The intention is clear.

The deceased could not care less.

He constantly asks

to go outside.

He will even go out if we let him.

The rain does not stop.

No matter how much he complains.

Instead we must endure his asking

and are forced to just tell him, no.

Some of meaningful.

Others hurtful and crass.

All are useless unless said.

What is said means nothing

without the voice behind it.

No one lives forever

but sometimes their voice can still be heard.

On the way there

Or stuck and can’t get out.

Either way

You are bound to find your way.

The sun is shining.

The birds are singing.

The insects buzz happily.

I cover my head with the blanket

In a futile attempt to block out light.

After overheating I find myself

At a disadvantage

And end up placing a chair under the doorknob.