Author: drachenkreiger

The past is behind us.

It drags at our feet.

Looking behind brings pain.

Sometimes bittersweet memories.

Back to the old times.

Forget the experiences.

Doom to repeat!

Wait down the street.

Dance like a boogie beat.

Have fun in the sun

and live like life’s a pun.

Keep it real.

Paris is a deal.

Walk with me.

The rainbow you will see.

All along the train

As you leave the rain.

When it rains

there is no pouring,

it snows!

I know better than to give an inch

for I am already being walked on for the next mile.

I trust.

I am optimistic.

I am gullible.

I want to help

but never know when I can say no!

Distracted by demands.

Other people need stuff.

Immediately!

So my own concerns must wait.

Until, I have no time to do them.

So no must become part of my repertoire.

I have no balance.

I do not know how to be content

getting things done

and then doing self-care.

I feel guilty

ignoring the household chores.

I sit in front of the computer

and scroll videos

or play video games.

I have bursts of shame

where I frantically get things done.

Only to find myself

wasting the next day away.

Mouth blisters

in the sun

as I swear

at the jerk

standing in front of me.

Still,

years later

he refuses to listen to me.

Self imposed

deadline.

Work needs to be done.

Make it happen.

I am living in a dream world…

I was hurt once before.

I trusted him.

Years have gone by.

Yet I need to remember the past.

Can I allow this man the chance

To hurt me once again?

Lol.

A response to a person’s message.

How things change.

Keep up with the times.

or you will find me

LMAO.

I was told not to cry.

I would be laughed at while embarrassed.

Anger was forbidden.

Smiles were allowed

and sometimes there was joy.

Growing up I found myself scared of making mistakes

because I never wanted to be punished.

It was the emotional distancing

from my problems that allowed me to survive.

Now, I have to relearn new techniques to cope

and

that crying is not a sign of weakness.