What’s wrong with you!
Stop being lazy!
Just get up and go do it!
What are you waiting for?
How come you’re not working?!
I am working.
I know what is wrong with me.
I am not lazy.
I can not just get up and do it.
I’m not waiting, I’m healing.
Yet never is it enough.
Unless my work is what they think I should be.
It is never enough to be strong mentally.
It is never a choice between being healthy physically
or shut down because of mental trauma.
They do not realize they have traumatized me.
They do not understand.
They care about my future
but miss what is happening in the present.
In order to heal, I must come to terms with my past
I fight with them because they do not see me.
I argue in order to prove I am right.
I know I can not change them.
Yet, I still try.
Perhaps someday I will learn to love myself.
With or without them.