Yes it takes time to adjust.
To have your vision split.
It has been over a year.
Almost two.
Yet, I still have trouble seeing my world
because the in between line of distinction
is exactly where I want to always look.
This seems to be a metaphor for my life.
I have been running out of spoons lately.
I use them.
I can’t find where I left them.
I need to replace them.
But I have no more spoons to do that with.
The main difference is money.
In the city
if you can not afford it
you buy whatever is available
or worse
given to you.
Yet, you hear the stories of people starting a garden
to offset inflation prices.
If I could
I might?
So, instead I will try to eat healthier
but please understand
when I reach for the chips
it might be all I have.
Thoughts empty
Feelings hurt
Direction is less
Common actions slow
Body aching fiercely
Head is somewhere
Don’t confuse me
Today is a hideaway day
Morning Routine is changed.
It used to be
Feed the cats,
get them new water
and then let them outside
so they could get some grass for their digestion.
Now, when the door opens
they look outside
feel the chilled air,
then at me
so I close the door.
Five minutes later,
they want out again.
They seem to think I can control the weather.
Whoever controls the water
That which is needed to live
will control the victory.
Food and other necessities
should they be interrupted
will damage all in the war zone.
Why does it have to happen?
Everyone deserves the chance to live.
I always wondered
why people put up requests
for money
when their situation
is not a tragedy
or some other heart breaking reason.
I guess, they still hope in the kindness of others.
It is good for you,
I remind myself
as I am huffing
and puffing while
carrying the load of laundry upstairs.
I had a dream.
A plan.
An expectancy.
Then I got comfortable.
The yearning was floating around but never addressed.
Now my comfort is being taken away
and I find my desire has been broken.
Dreams are important.
They drive us forward.
Hope and determination to do what needs to be done.
Sometimes it is just as important
to recognize when you need to let a dream go.
Other times they merely change as reality hits.
Saturn's Premier Poet 