Poetry

Certain places.

Certain times.

Certain sounds.

She finds me.

Puts her head against me

and demand I pet her.

Life is not what was expected.

Things turn out strangely.

Different aspects keep coming up.

Yet, you know who you are.

No one can take that away from you.

No matter how hard they try.

Go for the ribbon.

Golden circle.

Find the true Jester.

Laugh at the failures.

Realize you are one.

Take your time.

Run on as a present.

I am a horrible person.

I’m an idiot.

I’m so stupid.

Why would I do this?

This isn’t right.

Other people don’t have these problems!

Why can’t you just get it done?!

You shouldn’t be here!

I shouldn’t be crying,

but I am and all my thoughts laugh at my pain.

All the fun things

that were supposed to happen

this weekend.

Gone.

Because of the coughing, hacking, sneezing

sick me.

Introspection when sick

may cause delusional results.

Forcing yourself to do things

that before you always had to do

since no one else would do them for you.

Realizing you are now in a safe space.

Yesteryear and before the trauma had built.

Looking back,

Can I say I was healthy?

Or merely coping?

I think I did alright

but nowadays I feel lazier than ever.

Except I am not lazy.

I am sick.

Sore muscles.

Rough throat.

Head pounding.

Sick again.

Oh the freaking joy!

My mind is difficult.

My body rejects me.

I speak in strange riddles.

Staring contests I do not mean to initiate.

Focus on my own problems.

Seeing life differently.

I want to be left alone.

Please.

Tattling.

Teasing.

Conversations going nowhere.

Bonding?

How?

I already know that…

Reminiscing about the good old days.

Watching old commercials.

Laughing at the antics.

Talking to others who remember them to.

One liners still quoted.