Poetry

Alarm buzzes

Snooze button

Eyes slit

Limbs heavy

Jaw hurts

Slept wrong?

Old Woman?

Uh huh!

That’s me!

Can you answer this survey?

It won’t take long!

Just give us your opinions.

As long as you belong.

Are we doing the job right?

Customer service scores improve!

Tell us what you think

and we’ll give you a crappy pen!

The chair moves ominously.

Limbs clutch frantically.

I am not supposed to be rocking.

The chair is not at fault.

This morning I woke up creaky.

I go between okay and angry.

My moods fluctuate increasingly.

Where will I lash out next?

My coffee has not been imbibed.

Breakfast has been eaten.

And yet I still want to sleep.

But this time when I wake up

Can I have a perfect world?

No!

But I need you to come with me!

Can we go now?

Now?

Can we go now?

you said we’d go swimming!

Can we go now?

Me, I am exasperated at the relentless enthusiasm.

I patiently explain, again.

After mommy’s had her coffee dear.

I try not to swear.

I try not to yell.

I try to not cry and blubber.

I try to hold it together.

I try not to blame.

Yet a tear soaked “Fuck!”

will always escape.

The young think they are old.

The old want to look young.

Aging gracefully is frowned upon.

How can I replay time?

Memories can not trusted.

And I am thrust in the middle!

I work my shifts

I clean my house

I book all the appointments

I drive wherever I am needed

I focus on my friends and family

The things I do

are important

yet I still feel like a loser

I will never be good enough

or make them proud of me.

I can not be who they want me to be.

I will always make a huge mistake

which may cost me financially or emotionally.

My body will never be beautiful

not like the pictures in the magazines.

I am surrounded by doubt and negativity.

So much it feels like I am drowning!

The worst thing is these perceptions cloud my inner version of me.

Escaping them is not an option

though I will always be battling them!

It assaults the nose.

Brings you to tears.

How to explain it?

It stinks!