The tears still come
but I am not ashamed of them.
I can sympathize with his state
and the unnatural pressure
he must endure
as we figure out what is causing
his pain.
But when he describes the symptoms
all I can do is giggle
and tell him
every single eighth month pregnant woman
knows exactly how he feels.
Give or take the pain.
Crisis averted.
Hospital trip not necessary.
Diagnosis understood.
Dietary changes enforced.
Unhappy but alive.
He still breathes
but now without pain.
Still I tease him.
That he just wanted to see me earlier
than usual this weekend.
A change of lightbulbs.
A different set of eyes.
Glasses that are clearer.
Opening the heart to listen
for not all that is seen
is what should be perceived as truth.
Warm blankets
Hot cup of coffee
or tea
or hot chocolate
or anything warm to wrap your hands around.
Going outside
into the snow
and the
Brrrrr
cold seems unreasonable.
Inside is nicer.
Fuzzy socks are on the feet while under the blankets.
Here is my paradise for today.
Sipping my steaming hot drink.
Is this one a scam?
Who is the caller?
Are they really wanting the data?
Or is my paranoia too strong?
Am I a target of hostile intentions?
A victim of circumstances beyond my control.
The paranoia runs deep.
I suffer enough with the isolation
my mind plays tricks where none should be!
Refusals.
Demands.
Orders.
Denials.
Screaming.
Frustration.
Actions
needed
no energy
to follow through.
Choose your battles.
Somedays they choose you.
Where to lay the blame.
Go south.
There in the waters lies the dangers.
People stay hidden
and crime rises with deranged rangers.
Militia men who used to protect
now seek to hurt.
Those who are vulnerable
are headed to the cemetery sooner.
Clear sparkling waters
as you go further south.
Into lands so green
and fires that ravage
because of a petulant decision.
The tip of the pole so cold
few can last there.
But where else do we go
unless we head around the world.
To continue south means
eventually we end up back at ourselves.
Always have the last laugh.
Never see the problems.
Live a merry life.
Lonely and not understanding why.
Sometimes they do not realize
the joke is on them.
Avoiding the computer.
Meaning to do the chores.
Brain easily sees the body working.
The body refuses.
Logic can not help with illogical urges.
Such as eating all the brownies.
Guilt finally spurs the body to move.
While it fills the mind
A false peace settles over the scene.
The ability to block
Anything
Anytime
Anywhere
in this house
nothing is safe
from
the
cat!
