Poetry

Depression leads you away.

It takes the joy.

Numbness encompasses the lighting.

Shiny things hurt the eyes.

Tears won’t come.

Not because you are not sad.

Because you have no energy to spare on them.

Ones that won’t go away.

Did she get kicked out because I sent that angry text?

Will I be okay?

Is he upset about what happened?

Work lingers in the background.

Can I keep her safe?

What will happen if….?

I can not control the future.

Yet worry follows me into it.

Things unexpected.

Life happens.

Problems are dealt with.

People are just people.

Time changes the circumstances.

Until the next one comes along.

Broken leg, not an arm

so I can still do my art or gaming.

No whiplash, because neck hurts too much already.

Sore back? Bleeding from the inside?

Too traumatic. Maybe just a gun shot graze.

Any of the five senses would be horrifying to lose.

Mental trauma?

Already have.

Maybe just having friends who support me

is best.

On the way home.

Cars in front

Suddenly stop.

Brakes are slammed.

Mine and two more behind me.

Unfortunately the last in line was not fast enough.

Now, I have to report how the back end got damaged.

Just like a sunburn

you don’t realize it until it starts to hurt.

Anxiety doubles the pressure

and overwhelms what little control you have.

Giving in means disaster.

Not only for you

but for those around you.

A mega-ton nuclear bomb

could not have the same effect as you.

It is just a list.

Yet, it evokes a bad vibe.

A litany of crimes.

Of aches and pains.

Charges against peers.

All bad things.

What if we switch the term

and make a litany of good thoughts?

Nah, that would be confusing

and unhealthy.

It has only just begun.

Things run wrong.

Happenstance causes chaos.

Worry builds under the pressure.

Guilt makes mistakes.

Hiding from these things does not make them go away,

but maybe,

just maybe I could have some relief from a small break.

Never a day for myself.

No one else to worry about.

Total freedom from demands.

No other humans needing something.

One of these days I need to schedule a day where no one get a hold of me.

I will go airplane mode in real life.

Why does it feel so strange

That someone has my back?

I’m not alone.

There is a person who believes in me

And wants to see me succeed.

So many years

I had to do it all myself.

Now I’m with someone

Who sees me for who I truly am.

Time will be needed to understand

My first instincts

Of panic and depression

Are not welcome

Because I finally have that one person

Who says

“You are worthy!”