Terrible at not showing emotions

I was told not to cry.

I would be laughed at while embarrassed.

Anger was forbidden.

Smiles were allowed

and sometimes there was joy.

Growing up I found myself scared of making mistakes

because I never wanted to be punished.

It was the emotional distancing

from my problems that allowed me to survive.

Now, I have to relearn new techniques to cope

and

that crying is not a sign of weakness.