Pants

There was a pair

somewhere around here

that were not stained

or previously worn

{for five days straight}.

Ones that were fresh and clean

so that they gird the loins

of the one who must make their way

into the eye of the public

{grocery stores count}.

Cloth coverings not torn

but ones that did not have

a bad smell.

Ones that should have been washed

days ago.

Emergency measures must be taken.

Scrub off the stain

and apply some deodorant

{on the inside}

and pray that no one notices.